Wednesday, 3 November 2010

Week 1, Day 3 (No Physical Contact)

I seem to over compensate on space, either coming across as very polite or very rude to others, as I move away to let them pass. It's a drastic change for someone as physical and social as myself. I feel awkward and self conscious when in a larger group. Public Transport is the worst, mainly because it's further from my control, and I have to edge to the corner of my seat if someone sits next to me. Friends are fine because they understand (or at least to some degree). As well as this boundary making me more aware of the casual physical contact I would've had, I'm also aware of the lack of physical contact in my day to day life. I notice how little I touch a lot of people, and how many don't even notice the avoidance. A sense of loneliness has grown because i feel a larger bubble that holds me back from other people.

At work, however, the boundary was impossible to stay true to. From behind the bar, it was unavoidable and practically every person who ordered a drink from me touched my hands either when giving money, taking change or picking up their drink. People don't notice these small connections.

As my friend Sean pointed out, when physical contact is taken note of, it suddenly changes the situation to something more loaded and intimate. E.g. "he held the door open for me" and "he held the door open for me and slightly brushed my hand" seem very different, even though the second its simply adding in a finer detail.


  1. Thats a curious set of observations. The starvation of physical contact must make those brief skirmishes on the sides of your hands at work seem both exquisite, delicious or coarse.

    And absolutely, its the finer details in this world that turn an experience from the mundane to the extraordinary.

    You will have the senses equivalent to a hawk (of touch) before long...

  2. Seems so. It's a saddening experience. I truely feel more alone, and away. I forgot the general comfort of touch. It is reassuring. But now I really experience things in my own. The few touches that would've meant nothing mean so much. I've become...appreciative.x