Oh it seems the November Project 2010 is over! And honestly, I feel quite sad, or at the very least, without such a sense of direction. During the November Project it was like every moment of the day was going towards something which somehow had meaning.
During the weeks I feel I've reassessed how I interact with others, and where intimacy is deeply buried and underlying, or completely devoid, in numerous social circumstances.
No physical contact made me feel alone, watermelon eating made me feel attention seeking (and bloated), no eye contact made me feel rude, no speaking made me feel...good. Though at some stage all did make me feel nervous around others in their own way.
If you have any questions leave a comment on the blog or email me at doyoulovemejamiestewart at gmail dot com.
Honestly not a great deal to add to this week. I'd say over all, it was the most successful out of all of them. Though I did continue to very occasionally slip up when around my mother, speech was so very limited. Whilst the first and third weeks/boundaries may have sounded like less drastic measures, they were harder to enforce as they were such casual actions that one falls into with people they know and don't know. Talking, at least, is really only something we do with people we know or are close to. There's no talking example comparative to meeting eyes across a room or brushing legs under a table.
I feel like I enjoyed this week the most, not regretting anything that was not said, when normally it is all to easy to regret a whole lot that was uttered.
I'm very pleased how this is going. In all honesty, I have accidentally uttered a few words to my mother before gasping and stopping. I suppose it's harder to remember when I'm just at home, in a situation I wouldn't be talking normally/frequently.
Yesterday I went to the private view at Ikon gallery for the new Len Lye show (which was wonderful) and the lovely Andy B. said the quote at the top, after we had a great conversation. Mostly when I spoke to people they would continue to be vocal, but one person wrote down as well, explaining that he felt strange to talk out loud.
When in these more social situations it seems it may put a certain amount of strain on those I converse with, though I don't necessarily view it in a negative light. All interactions become in some what private, as there's little place for me in groups at the moment.
So far, it also seems that I have a lot that's not much worth saying. With more effort needed for literally every word, there's a lot I've stopped bothering with...
This is either easier or harder than weeks 1 and 3, and I can't tell which yet. Day 1 down with no fuck up. It's not as difficult as I thought it'd be as I've allowed myself written communication via pen and notepad and a small laptop. Tom D. and I hung out all morning together and had a lovely time chatting (me via a screen next to him and him speaking) and watched a bit of a film. It wasn't awkward once. As with most of these boundaries so far, I'm more nervous about encounters with those I'm not so familiar with. Asking a stranger for something via a piece of paper is a harder thing to do, than a conversation over paper with a friend.
It was a choice between no speaking, no sleeping or no sitting. No sitting seemed a little dull in some ways. I'm sure my legs will hurt a lot more and I'll learn how to appreciate comfort but I felt it wouldn't really give me as interesting as an experiance.
No sleep would have been a great one to do, but with needing to work and concerntrate on various things in my life, it's impractical. I'd need to not have anything to do in a week for no sleep (ironic because in some ways I'd have so much more time)...
So no speaking it is! However, this does no mean no communication. Writing and typing notes is something I'll allow myself, as well as blogging, email, social networking.